Network Agreements

Context

When people come together—especially across difference—it can be difficult to ensure that everyone feels respected, heard, and able to participate fully. Without clear expectations, conversations can easily default to dominant voices, bypass tension, or become uncomfortable in ways that erode trust. Participants may feel uncertain about how much of themselves they can bring, or whether they will be protected if things go wrong. And without a shared foundation, even small conflicts can escalate or silence others.

Problem

Trust-building, honest communication, and generative conflict are essential for meaningful collaboration—but none of these thrive in ambiguity. Especially in networks where relationships are new or power imbalances exist, establishing shared norms early on is essential. The quality of a network’s interaction is shaped not only by what is said, but by how people are invited to show up, and what boundaries support them in doing so.

Forces

There is a tension between structure and freedom: too many rules can feel rigid or imposed, but too little structure can leave people feeling unsafe or unclear.
Participants bring different experiences of power, trauma, and belonging, which shape how they navigate shared spaces.
Trust doesn’t just arise from intention—it grows through visible and lived commitments.

Solution

Therefore, co-create network agreements at the beginning of your work together. Ask:

“What do you need from this group in order to participate fully?”

Invite participants to reflect individually, then share in small groups, and finally offer ideas in a collective harvest. Capture these into a short, meaningful list of shared agreements—things like:

Listen to understand
Land the plane (speak succinctly)
Practice self-care
Honor confidentiality (e.g. “Take the lesson, leave the details”)
Consider both intent and impact
Stay open to emergence and change

Once the group affirms the list, revisit it regularly. Use it as an anchor when tension arises or decisions get difficult. Most importantly, treat the agreements as living commitments that evolve alongside the group.

Resulting Context

When agreements are co-created with care, they generate a shared sense of ownership and accountability. People are more willing to speak honestly, hear difference, and stay with discomfort when trust is scaffolded by clear commitments. A culture of mutual respect and bravery takes root—not by accident, but by design.

Listening with Care
Network agreements often include norms around active listening. Deep, empathetic listening helps ensure that group agreements aren’t just words but are practiced with sincerity and attention.
Openness Trust thrives when people feel they can share openly. Network agreements create a foundation for openness by making the space feel safer and more predictable.
Care
Establishing agreements signals a shared ethic of care—care for one another’s boundaries, identities, and participation needs.
Appreciation
Naming appreciation as a group value can deepen group cohesion and create a culture where everyone’s presence and contribution are acknowledged.
Sharing Stories
Agreements like confidentiality and presence create the container necessary for people to share personal stories with trust and vulnerability.
Reliability
Upholding network agreements builds reliability: people come to trust that others will follow through on their commitments to shared norms.
True Stories
Storytelling exercises like True Stories often require agreements around confidentiality, presence, and respect to be successful.
Stay with the Trouble
Network agreements can make it possible to sit with discomfort rather than bypassing it. They offer ground rules that help hold paradox, conflict, and emergence.
Noisy
When honoring cognitive and cultural diversity, group agreements help ensure that conflicting perspectives can coexist productively.

Citations

Converge Network: based on “Group Agreements”
- This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License